Which isn't really all that weird. I'm normally a pretty optimistic person; I guess it only seems weird because I'm coming out of a lengthy depression since I started college-talk with my counselor. I think I've finally come to an acceptance of what options are realistic for my future. A bit depressing when you think about it that way, but I guess I feel like community college is really my only choice. Scholarships can only cover so much. And there's no way my family can afford a California public university.
President Obama hit the nail on the head during his address to Congress. "You don't need to hear another list of statistics to know that our economy is in crisis, because you live it every day. It's the worry you wake up with and the source of sleepless nights. It's ... the college acceptance letter your child had to put back in the envelope. The impact of this recession is real, and it is everywhere."
The only disagreement I have with Obama is that for me and countless other undocumented students, it's not a matter of irresponsible banks and homeowners. It's not an issue of losing your job or not being able to afford a loan. It's an obstacle higher and wider than the borders our families had to cross. It's the fact that we lack a flimsy blue and white card with a number on it.
While my friends anxiously await their acceptance letters, I dread the day I get those big envelopes in the mail because I know that means having to turn my back on those dreams that are so close to coming true.
...but there I go with my self-pity again.
I try not to think of it as giving up - simply a dream "deferred", as my fellow dreamies like to call it. But I think I've finally accepted the idea of going to a community college. I tell myself anything I can come up with to convince myself that community college is the best option. I even make up excuses to tell my friends when they ask why I'm going to a community college. A few times I've straight out told them I don't qualify for federal aid; I just hope they don't connect the dots.
Maybe I should start a pros and cons list, hmm...
For now though, I've got to go. I have a scholarship deadline tomorrow that I still have to write the essay for.
Keep on DREAMing,
~Ambitious
I started my college career at a JC, not by choice but rather by necessity. Although i was never a great student (i let my grades drop when i realized what the "situation" meant) i did get accepted to the only 4 year i applied to.
ReplyDeleteHowever, JC proved to be the path for me. I worked hard, got my GE classes done and finally transferred. JC served as a means to buy me some time.
Unfortunately you do miss out a bit on the complete "college" experience. But i was greateful just to be able to go to school.
Anyways, chin up, this is only a necessary first step and hopefully it will buy you some time (as it did me) and we'll have DREAM pass soon.